I'm not very happy

Thanks to my washing my cell phone with my clothes on Monday, I am the owner of a new phone. Notice I didn't say "proud owner of a new phone"? My old phone was plain Jane basic and small. Small was important because I don't carry a purse and I liked putting it in my pocket or other places on my body. However, cheap was also important, so I bought the phone for my plan at Target that was the cheapest.

Take a look at the size difference. Can you see why I'm unhappy?

Someone please tell me how happy I'm going to be with a QWERTY phone though, okay?